Unexpected Events
by NadiaIsMe
Summary: Envy has a little secret pertaining to herself. Ed finds out her secret. Put them together and you get some Unexpected Events. Takes place after the lab 5 incident in the anime. Envy is a girl in this. rated for language and other content later.
1. What?

Hello this is my first fanfic so go easy on me! First off I was debating if I should post this or not. First because I had about three of my friends look this over and give me advice. They all said it was completely awesome but I have my doubts because, you know, they are my friends and they think that it is there job to make me happy or something. I think I will rate this M just to be safe because of the content I have in later chapters.

This was based off of a weird dream I had... yes I get so bored I _dream_ of Edvy.

Disclaimer: I am 16 and have no job, no money, and no life. It is up to you to decide if I own FMA or not.

Warning: My sad excuse for writing, language, I managed to turn Envy into a girl,

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Unexpected events

Chapter 1- WHAT?!?

3

"Great. Just fucking great!" Envy said while walking into the manor and took a seat on the couch that Dante usually sat on to look menacing… or something. Damn that bitch.

"Great now Ed knows. He knows I'm not a guy… that i-ima… girl!" Envy wailed.

3

_Earlier that morning or afternoon (which ever you prefer)…_

Blinking and starring into the dim sunlight Envy sat up. She (yes she hahaha I'm evil!) had fallen asleep? What the fuck was wrong with her? She was pissed to. She hated this time of the month. For some reason her mood got worse than usual and she felt constantly bloated, angry, tired, and just wanted to be left alone.

A soft knock on the door let her know that Lust was coming in. Lust was the only one who actually knocked before coming in. Wrath never knocked, Sloth never came in, Pride never cared, Greed just walked in and said something about her being "an ugly bastard… or something.", and Dante never actually came in, she just yelled at Envy to get her ass downstairs.

"Can I come in?" questioned the only slightly attractive homunculus.

Envy was defiantly the hottest and well yeah everyone said so… well that's why they always stared at her on the street. Right? I mean they weren't staring at the homunculus trying to figure out if it was a boy or a girl, or staring at her black-green hair that cascaded over her shoulders like the soft green leaves of a tree, Or the outfit she wore that made her look like another cheep, street corner whore… right.

Focusing her attention to the woman with the largest breasts Envy has ever seen. Man was she jealous or what? The only reason everyone thought Envy was a guy, including all of the Homunculi and the bitch Dante, was due to the fact that Envy had boobs the size of a twelve-year old girl who hadn't hit puberty.

Lucky for her, Lust took the silence and the fact that Envy was now gazing down at her chest, looking like she was very disappointed in its shape, as a yes.

Lust stepped into the room and looked around. "Envy I've noticed that you have been a little… out of it lately. And I just wanted to see if you were fine. I don't want to be ignoring my '_big brother_' now do I?"

"I'm fine Lust. The only thing that is bothering me is you and your _oversized breasts_. Now GET OUT!!" Envy yelled managing to emphasize the '_oversized breasts' _part.

Looking puzzled Lust scurried toward the place in which she came. Stopping at the door she turned and said, "Dante wants to see you in about 30 minutes get ready." She walked out slowly and once she exited slammed the door with enough force to crack a human skull open… poor door.

The thing that bothered Envy the most was the fact that there was something wrong. She got this way every month. Feeling stressed out and always tired. The weird thing was that she was bleeding from somewhere. It stopped after about 5 days leaving Envy to enjoy herself for about 27 days until it started again. She had been fine for about four hundred years then after she met the Full Metal Chibi it started.

She tried to talk to Dante but the only response she got was a book to the face, some insult regarding the words Bastard, a new mission to keep her busied, and the order to go PMS elsewhere.

Jeeze, how big was the stick up her ass. Probably huge… and shoved up there pretty far… ok back to the matter at hand.

She looked down at her shorts or skort or whatever it was. I mean for the love of fuck did people just sit around all day calling Envy a "gender confused freak" and a "travesty palm tree". Get a fuckin' LIFE god Envy wasn't technically "living" but had managed entertained herself for more than four hundred years! Whatever it was skort or not was, yet again, covered in blood. Envy huffed as she shape shifted into a clean pair.

3

After changing Envy came down the stairs and stood in front of the "master" of this manor.

"Oh good Envy you came to grace everyone with your presence. Now get the fuck over yourself and sit the fuck down." Dante said as if she was offering her grandchild a chocolate chip cookie. Great now I'm hungry.

Taking a seat dramatically on the couch Envy turned her attention to Dante. "Ok I have a new mission for you if you are done PMSing and believing that someone actually gives a fuck…" The blunt of her long speech summarized in 5 seconds was basically… "Envy, go fuck yourself then stalk the Full Metal Alchemist." Ok great. Leaving the House, Envy set of toward the military dorms, Time to go to work.

3

Finding Ed was as easy as looking for a twig in a pile of branches. But, looking for Ed with his red coat on was as easy as looking for a twig, with a bright red sash tied around it, in a pile of branches.

Waiting for Ed to enter a vacant ally Envy made her move. Too bad it was the wrong choice.

As the sin moved closer to her target she kicked him forcing him down on the ground. Jumping on Ed as he fell she landed on him, straddling his waist. Luckily none of them were perverts. Well at least Ed wasn't… hopefully.

"You bastard!" Ed sneered viciously.

The homunculus stopped anything else from exiting his mouth with a punch. She hated it when anyone called her a bastard.

Blind with rage the sin punched a couple more times, failing to notice that the Alchemist had transmuted his arm into his infamous saberthingy. In a quick slice Ed had cut Envy from her belly button to the beginning of her neck. There was a shriek that sounded too much like a girl who had broken a nail then a supposed man who was just sliced open. The healing started instantly and Envy thought she was in the clear.

Something was wrong though. Ed sat there like he was just caught with a camera in the girls' bathroom. A cold breeze swept over Envy's bare chest. Wait a second… BARE?!? Envy looked down horrified at her chest there was no doubt that Ed knew about Envy's, dare I say, dirty little secret.

Envy screamed and covered her chest with her hands a crouched down like she had a stomachache. Now I said that Envy had small boobs but I didn't say she didn't have any. Anyone could tell the difference between the chests of a twelve-year old boy and girl so the rule also applied to Envy.

Envy sat in the corner sobbing like she had been molested or something. She expected Ed to laugh, NOT, to come over to her.

3

Ed had no idea what had happened he cut Envy then he saw how skinny he looked like he wasn't eating. The stupid thing was that he felt like it was his fault. Then Envy like someone had flipped a switch or something freaked out and started covering his chest like a girl who had been walked in on while changing.

He went to see what was wrong. Kneeling down by the sin's side he removed the arms away from the chest. He thought that the sin was cold or something as it sat in shock. So he removed his gloves and in attempt to warm him up put them on the sin. He rubbed over his back and then to his chest. The funny thing was that Envy kinda looked like a girl.

As he started on the sin's front he passed his nipples and surprisingly the homunculus gave out a moan like it was a pleasing. Rubbing back over the sin's chest he noticed that it felt well weird; different. Almost like a girl's chest. Like that time with Psiren except flat, like really flat. Unintentionally he grabbed it and found it to be indeed a boob along with the other one to. Envy turned and slapped him like any sensible girl would do if their enemy just groped them.

"Envy you're a-a g-girl?" Upon saying that Envy burst into tears "Don't s-say t-that Ed. J-just d-don't tell Dante!" he or I guess she managed to choke out in between her sobs. I picked her up and put my jacket around so I could bring her to my dorm. When I decided this it started to rain. Ohhhhh goodie.

When Ed finally got to his room with Envy in tow, they snuck in unnoticed so that was a plus. But what about this… thing? When the flaxen-haired Chibi came back into the room with dry clothes Envy was asleep. Well that answered his question.

3

When Envy had awakened she looked around then in almost shock looked down. "Damnit! I bled on Chibi's bed… oh well fuck him." Under him was a little puddle of blood. Not to noticeable but it was there alright.

"Fuck who exactly?" said Ed leaning up against the door frame with a smug look on his face.

'_I'll tell you who…'_ thought Envy. "Oh nothing I was just saying who the fuck cares if I bled all over your bed? Definitely NOT me!" The Sin almost chuckled but decided to wait to see Chibi's face before she did.

He got up and he could see Ed eye his skort. There in fact was a large blood stain on the front and back of the article of clothing. "Close your eyes Chibi or else I'll do it myself."

Surprisingly Ed closed his eyes almost instinctively. Envy took of his bottoms and shifted into a new pair of clothes before throwing his blood soaked bottoms at the Chibi.

3

I was not expecting Envy to act so calm and I was almost certain that she was lying about the bed until I saw her stand up. Her skirt was almost tinted dark red from the blood. When she told me to close my eyes I obeyed because I thought it was only fair since I just recently grabbed Envy's boob, Envy… the girl… or woman… thing.

I was about ready to ask if I could open my eyes when I felt something warm and wet hit my face. It smelled faintly of blood and I almost screamed as I thought of what it was. When I opened my eye I was not let down. It was indeed Envy's blood soaked bottoms. "Do you know how unsanitary that is?" I screamed at the Homunculus that was now rolling on the floor hysterically.

I came to her side and then looked at my bed. There was indeed a puddle of blood in the center. "How the hell did that happen? Did you cut your leg or something Envy?" I asked.

"…"

"… Nope it just does that a lot. I have no idea why but I get really bad mood swings when it starts." Envy answered casually.

"Well did you talk to this 'Dante' person about it?" I asked in return, not wanting to drop the subject. It's just that it puzzled me and I was very suspicious.

"Yeah"

"wadid she say?"

"'Go PMS elsewhere. 'Or something along those lines."

"Ok, tell me Envy, when does this usually happen and for how long?"

"About at the end of the month I think. It lasts for about 5 days and then stops. It starts almost a month after that."

"Interesting, do you know where the blood comes from?"

"Nope, don't know, don't care, never will."

After going back and forth like that d finally I gave up and would look it up the next day.

3

After Ed stopped all those personal questions I thought I would be fine but then he asked…

"Are you really a girl?"

"Yeah? Why you ask?"

"I think you lying like seriously!"

"No! I am really!"

"Well you are _very_ flat chested."

"WHAT! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GIRL WHO HAS SMALLER BOOBS THAN A LITTLE BOY!!?"

"Wow you sound like me!"

"Shut up Shorty."

"Well I may be short, wait… WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT! But at least I'm not a flat chested girl!"

"Don't you dare say that again!"

"Make me!"

"Just stop it you ant!"

"F. L. A. T. C. H. E. S.T. E. D."

"I'm gonna kill you!"

Envy jumped up and landed square on the little blonde straddling his waist. She was going to punch him but before she did she looked at his face. He looked so helpless under her. Instinct took over before she caught herself she had pressed her lips on Ed's and pushed her tongue into his mouth. Actually he let her tongue inside his mouth as he gave out a sound half way between a moan and a surprised gasp.

His arms went around her and went to peel off the skin-tight cropped top the sin always wore. Both of them then came to their senses and stopped.

"I think I better leave now." Envy choked out before turning all too quickly toward the open window.

"Wait, please… u-um come back tomorrow…" Ed gasped.

"Why."

"I'm gonna look into your… um p-problem."

"oooohhhh, uh thanks. I'll uh do that."

"Bye Envy."

"Bye short stuff."

"Hey-"Ed started to rant about his height, or lack thereof, but it was gone with the wind just like Envy.

He turned around and looked at the open door.

"That's weird I thought I closed it." Ed chuckled to himself.

3

Al was walking into the dorm room when he heard a yell. It sounded like Ed on one of his rants about not being short. But this time it wasn't Ed. He walked to the door only to here Envy say, _"I'm gonna kill you!"_

That was enough to get Al into action but when he opened the door the only blood red thing he saw was Ed's face because he was blushing so much. On top of Ed was a pale guy with long green-black hair. It was Envy. His mouth was on Nii-san, HIS Nii-san. (Wow protective much? Yey INCEST!) Then what shocked him the most was when Ed reached his arms up grabbing at Envy's shirt.

Al couldn't take it anymore he ran from the door leaving it opened. Apparently he hadn't disturbed them at all so he wasn't found out.

"Nii-san what is wrong? Why are you doing this?" Al said feeling like he was on the brink of tears.

3

"Idiot, idiot, idiot! Why did you do that you retarded, mother fucking, flat chested, whore!" Envy yelled at herself as she made her way slowly to the manor.

'_You ruined it.'_

'He hates you now!_'_

'_Shut Up!!!'_

Envy cleared her tears as she walked up to the sitting area. Good no Dante.

_**To Be Continued…**_

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PLEASE**_R&R!Tell me how I did. I can take flames but I rather not have any.

Just to let you know, even if you don't like it I will keep posting to 1. boost my self esteem and 2. Because I have this entire story finished already and I am on the sequel.


	2. Shut up and Sleep With me

OK, here is the second chapter. I am SOOO happy that at least someone read it. My friends at school are silently hating you for it because for the past week all I have been doing is bragging about it. Yes, I know I'm pathetic. So I'm almost done with an EnvyxFather one shot. Yes, EnvyxFather. I got bored, sue me. So I got weird looks from everyone but it's nice and angsty! Or at least that's how I want it to be. For some reason whenever I want to have angst I get humor. don't ask me why. Please read it. I have never seen anyone do a EnvyxFather so I decided to try it. Now that I picture it... I'm severely disturbed.

Ok, this is the second chapter... W00T!! I'm going places in this world. Ok but with all seriousness. review this because I like constructive criticism, and when I say constructive I mean like... just review. (Ok the real reason is the fact that I like it when I get emails. Yeah I don't get much action.)

Disclaimer: Really. I can't write. You think that I could possibly own FMA or Sin With Sebastian. I did, however, get around to buying volumes 1-5 of the FMA manga. Yeah I just got around to buying the manga... I'm cheap ok.

One last thing... Hollywood Undead... if you haven't heard of them before listen to them their a great rapcore group. Like literally listen to them.

Ok I'm done ranting so enjoy as much as you can.

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Unexpected Events

Chapter 2- Shut up and Sleep With me

6

Edward set off early in the morning to go to the library. _'I'll ask Al if he's ok later'_ Ed thought as he walked though the busy streets to his final destination. Al had been avoiding him as if he did something wrong. Well whatever was bothering Alphonse would be resolved when Ed returned. In the meantime the confused teen would just try and figure out what had upset his brother. ELRIC TELEPATHY ACTIVATE!

When Ed got to the library he asked one of the female workers about Envy's "Symptoms".

"Well that's easy!" declared the woman jovially. "You're friend has become a woman! She's getting her period!" Ed took a minute to think over what she had said. Period… what was tha- OOOOHHHH that thing, the woman thing with babies… or something.

"What but she's a-a…"

'_Homunculus' _His mind answered for him.

'NO she's a monster not capable of love. They can't even reproduce_!' _The evil part of his brain responded.

'_No don't say that!' _

'She kissed you'

'_She, She did!'_

'Your first kiss, lost to a gender confused, flat chested palm tree!'

"Ummm… Sir are you alright?" asked the clerk who seemed concerned with Ed just spacing out.

"Oh I was just thinking! Don't worry." Ed said turning heel and darting for the door, maybe he didn't need any books today after all.

6

It was almost time to meet Edward, YIPPEE!! The flat chested, foliage-like sin couldn't wait. But, of course, the only reason she wanted to meet the Chibi was because she wanted to find out what was wrong with her. She didn't want to see Chibi he was only an obstacle, a tool in the great plan Dante made, nothing else.

Envy had to be out of the room before Dante could rear her ugly head. Envy had successfully made it out of the manor alive. She felt like dancing or some sort of gay activities like that, what was wrong with her?

6

"Al?" Ed asked me as I raised my metal armored head.

'_Nii-san how could you!' _I thought angrily, I have the right to be. I mean, I did just walk in on my brother fraternizing with the enemy.

"Yes Nii-san?" I answered back shakily, trying to hide the pained emotions in my voice. I don't know why seeing Nii-san and Envy together disturbs me.

"How are you? You seem to be avoiding me. Hehe." Ed told me, hand scratching the back of his neck nervously.

'_Well that's because I am.'_

"No of course not Nii-san" I lied, but since I have the best poker face in the world, he couldn't tell.

"Really? Are you sure? Are you ok?"

'_No I'm not ok! What is Envy to you huh?'_

"Yeah I am… I'm just lost in thought."

"Well you look sad."

'_Of course I'm sad! You know what Nii-san if I wasn't in this armor I would be crying!!'_

"How can I look sad?"

"Oh I don't know. It's kinda stupid I guess."

'_I don't want to see your face again!!'_

"hey Nii-san, Ima go out for a bit. See you later."

"Oh ok Al."

6

It was about 10 minutes after Al left. And Ed was still puzzled over how his little brother acted.

"Hey Chibi! Ya got my diagnoses yet?" asked a blur of green as the little homunculus came through the window.

"I sure have Envy!"

"So what do I got, Doc.?"

"You're having you period!"

"WHAT?!?"

"Well that's what I came up with so there you go."

"Ugggg. FINE I'll go with that."

"Hey Envy."

"What do ya want now?"

"So… you're really a-a girl."

"Yeah, do I really not look like one?"

"Well you kinda do but you don't have any boobs. If you don't like being called a guy why don't you just shift your form so you have some? You know… give yourself some knockers." Envy flinched at that question. Truth be told, the reason for her actions were really stupid. "Well to be truthful. I want to keep my girl form to-uh-stay true to myself. But, if I'm a girl then I would look weak. So to stay true to myself I am a girl, who looks like a girl, but has no boobs so is passed off as a guy."

"oh ok then well you should get going."

"Yeah, see ya later Chibi-Chan" Envy said while blowing a kiss towards Ed before jumping out of the window.

"K see y-"Ed found himself saying to an empty room.

6

When Envy got home she ran up to her room and looked in her mirror. She saw the refection of her preferred form. Pale, cat like, muscular, long legs, flat chested, stunning eyes, and long locks framing her face. A flash brightened the room and she was starring at something completely different. The look from the neck up was, for the most part, the same. But the rest was a different story. Less muscular with smaller shoulders, wider hips, and of course the crème de la crème, huge boobs, bigger than Lusts probably D cup or maybe DD. Grabbing one of the boobs she weighed it and then looking in the mirror she thought _'maybe Ed was right…'_

"Well, well looks like little Envy has taken a liking to D cups." Chuckled Lust from the door.

"Well looks like the witch has awakened." Envy shot back with a look that said 'don't you dare mention this outside of this room or else you won't have any boobs to compare to these.'

"Thanks Envy. Well Dante wants ya."

"K… You can leave now."

Lust exited the room and Envy took one last look at the mirror before changing back an exiting the room as well.

6

"Dante you wanted me?" Envy said as he sat on the uncomfortable couch that Dante INSISTED they always keep.

"yes I did."

"ok so do ya want something or are you gonna give me a hug and ask me how my day was?" Envy remarked as she counted the seconds until she could leave and go to Chibi's place.

"I just wanted to tell you to go and 'check up' on Full Metal."

"well that's what I was going to do."

"Good now get going unlike some of us we don't have all day like you do to sit around and pretend to be a girl."

"Ok I'll leave…"

'_bitch! How did you find out!?'_

She looked at the ancient woman on the couch before turning and going out the door. Even though she was annoyed she was still happy because "it" had stopped early that morning.

6

Ed found himself looking out his window for the possibility of Envy dropping by.

'_God I AM pathetic!'_

'No, you are helping!_' _Ed argued with himself. Maybe Envy wasn't the only one with MPD…

'_Uh no I think I'm waiting by a window like someone is gonna come through and sweep me off my feet!'_

When Ed came to his senses he found that someone had come through the window and was sweeping him off his feet.

"ENVY!!" Ed yelled with joy.

"Mmmmm, Pipsqueak?"

"Flat chest."

Envy sighed as she picked up Ed and dropped him on the bed with a _plop._

"How are you feeling?" Ed questioned.

"Good 'it' stopped last night or earlier today so I'm feeling fine."

"Good."

"shut up, you're ruining it!"

"Ruining wha-"Ed started to say but was abruptly stopped as the words on his lips were replaced by Envy's lips and she shut him up with a kiss.

Ed took his chance and slid his tongue into Envy's mouth. The sin allowed Ed to enter and the kiss turned passionate. Ed slowly reached up and peeled off Envy's skin-tight shirt. In response to this the homunculus gave a moan.

Ed felt a tug on his pants. Envy had started to disrobe him and the only warning he got was when he heard the clang of his belt hitting the floor. As he heard this he felt Envy's cool hands rub up his chest and slip his shirt off.

By the time Envy had removed all his clothes he was pinned on the bed looking up at a pale, blushing, sexy, little sin straddling his waist. Then that lead to him realizing this is how it would be, Ed on bottom the entire time. This _was_ Envy we are talking about. And most likely Ed would never be on top. Envy was in control so Ed had to do nothing. Just sit there and let her do what she wanted to him. He would sometimes open his eyes to see Envy above him sweating and with blush across her face. What hit him next sent him into pure bliss, the feeling of being inside Envy, was enough to make any full grown man beg. That is exactly what Ed did too. He begged shamelessly, not caring who heard him. Sadly, Ed felt like he was drunk when this all happened so him mind was hazy. He did not think much just looked at Envy, starred, longed, and listened. Hearing the short gasps and pants escape Envy's plump, kiss swollen lips lulled Ed into a trance. The rocking of Envy on top of him in quick, hard thrusts sent him over the edge into a deep, content sleep.

When he came to the room was dark, probably do to the fact that it was night, and so Ed tried to get up. Sadly his attempts were thwarted by a light weight on his chest. It was the small homunculus who was now sweaty and had hair sticking to her shoulders and back. The night's events came back to Edward in a flash as his eyes rested on her sleeping features. She looked so beautiful and he never wanted that moment to end.

_**To Be Continued…**_

_Shut Up and Sleep With Me_

_-Sin with Sebastian _

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_Read and review!_ NOW!!_

**V There's a button right here V**_  
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	3. Guilty Pleasure

LOL I am so happy that at least someone likes me! My crazy friend is here and shes annoying the crap out of me as I am writing this. She is asking questions about fanfictions and I'm trying to write this A/N at the same time and now she's telling me what to write. Now she is like telling me to shut up and I think she might start to strangle me if I don't----

ROFL*cough*help*cough*

Any way. Really I hope I don't burn your eyes out with this crap of a fanfiction because I think the only reason that I am posting it is so I can get it off my computer before my mom hacks my stuff and sees it and condemns me to my room for being a douche.

I don't own FMA, I am not Japanese, I am not a male prostitute... lol wut.

... buuuuut I do look at gay porn... I'd tap that lol wut.

NOW ENJOY TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITIES... LOL WUT.

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Unexpected Events

Chapter 3- Guilty Pleasure

9

Blinking lazily Envy's eyes adjusted to the dim light of her room. Hey wait this wasn't her room. She was in fact, in the Chibi's room. Feeling the touch of another she looked up to see Chibi-Chan unintentionally twirling with one of her stray hairs from her head around his index finger while reading a book. Envy thought of a nasty little idea that involved a blushing Chibi.

'_This could be fun'_ thought Envy as she devised a plan.

Stirring a little she got Ed's attention. When she felt his warm, golden eyes on her she put her plan into action. She looked up at him helplessly, taking pleasure in the fact that his face was now blush red. When he least expected it Envy raked her nails down his chest drawing blood.

Envy got up out of bed and ran across the floor to the door and turned around and said "Catch me if your legs aren't too short Chibi." Then almost instantly she turned around and ran out of the dorm and into the hallway. Running to the bathroom that everyone on that floor used Ed followed her and slammed the door shut. "What was that!? What if people saw you they would know! And then what would happen huh?" Ed yelled. "awww Chibi don't be so stiff let's take a shower together." Envy proposed.

"Wha-"was yet again all Ed could get out before Envy forced a kiss on him. Pushing him into a shower stall Envy turned on the water to a comfortable temperature. The water felt good on her skin and she decided that right about… now was the good time to cut the kiss short. She then began the task of cleaning herself.

"Why did you stop?" Ed asked teasingly.

"Cause Chibi, you can't get what you want you want all the time. I choose who I fuck and when I do so." Envy replied going back to washing herself.

When they finished up Ed grabbed them some towels and gave one to Envy. They started to leave when Envy got another brilliant idea. She quickly changed into her womanly form that she tried out the day before.

'_Heh I wanna see Chibi's face when he sees this body.' _Envy thought. Wrapping the towel loosely around herself she followed after her "lover".

"Well, well look what the shrimp brought home." Said an all too smug voice.

Simultaneously they both turned around and could mutter only one word "Shit."

9

Ed turned around to see a beautiful woman, not Envy. Well wait it was Envy but… well different more umm womanly. She had the same hair and face but was less muscular and had HUGE boobs! They were D cup or maybe DD's. She still had the red mark of the Ouroboros on her upper thigh.

Behind her was a very amused Roy Mustang. He seem particularly amused that a woman like that could be with Ed. Then like a switch was flipped Roy's face went from amused to stressed when he saw the red marking on her thigh.

'_I wonder why he was looking down there that pervert.'_ Ed thought angrily as he thought of what was going through his perverted colonel's mind.

"What's your name?" He questioned. Gazing up and down the sin's well formed body.

"Envy." The sin replied with obvious spite.

"Uhh… Mustang we need to get changed so…" Ed started.

"No Ed! You will do no such thing with _him_!"

"Him?" Envy said raising an eyebrow.

"YES! _You're _that _MALE_ homunculus who can change forms!" Roy spat.

"Why do you think I'm a guy?" Asked Envy.

"Shut up! You're coming with me."

"ED! Save me!!" Envy yelled as girly as possible.

"Ed, he tricked you! I really hope you didn't sleep with him." Roy said sounding fatherly.

"No we didn't! Please go away and leave us alone." Ed yelled choking back tears for saying that. He knew it was the right thing because both of them would be in serious trouble if they were found out.

"Fine Full Metal. I will take my leave now and, _Mr._ Envy… nice ass." Roy said rushing past the two before Ed could kill him.

9

In the room Ed never got a chance to dress because Envy tackled and pinned him to the bed before Ed could even suggest that they should have sex. "You missed me right Chibi" Envy purred. Ed could only moan as Envy took his length into her mouth and began sucking. Slowly sliding her tongue up the entire length. Teasing the horny Chibi, Envy licked slowly and that was almost unbearable for Ed. Surprisingly Envy's towel had not fallen off during this little scene. She still looked sexy with wet hair and short rumpled towel barely covering her bosom. Then without removing the towel the sin mounted Ed and began to ride him. "Envy, why don't you remove that towel so I can fully appreciate that sexy body of yours. Well except for the fact that it probably isn't as sexy as your normal form." Ed asked and praised.

"Cause' I want you to imagine what I loooook. *pant* like so _iffff_ you see it you will be even more plleeeeeeased." Envy gasped as she went faster and harder.

After what seemed for like an eternity of pure bliss Envy came and was shortly followed by Ed. Laying her head on Ed's chest he could feel her semi-dry hair tickle him. She clawed her way up his chest and started kissing him. After a little make out session she worked her way down her neck to his shoulder. She then started to nibble and kiss the sensitive area where automail met flesh.

Instantly Ed tried to grab something, anything, and his hands made their way to the Sin's cum-streaked thighs. He gasped as she bit him and he started to bleed. Then, like apologizing, she licked the wound, savoring the flavor of his blood.

There was a gasp and someone dropped something glass and Ed heard a shatter. As he looked up his eyes widened and he gasped "A-al… C-colonel M-mustang."

9

I heard a crash in Nii-san's room and I was so worried that one of the Homunculi was trying something so I panicked and did the first thing I thought of… I called Colonel Mustang. He told me that was the right thing to do because Nii-san was trying to talk with one of the female homunculi.

I was relived to here that it was female, not male, so it wasn't Envy. I hated him now! He just comes in and decides to kiss Nii-san and then leave like he didn't do anything! I could tell Nii-san was flustered all the rest of the day because of that and I left to give him room to vent.

I waited all of 5 minutes before I got impatient and stood outside to wait for the colonel. About 15 minutes later he arrived and we infiltrated the dorm. I got a glass of water in case Nii-san needed it and I followed Roy into the room.

When I got inside I was so shocked I dropped the glass and screamed. Inside was Envy. But not the regular muscular Envy, this was a voluptuous woman-like Envy. Not only was she womanly but she was only covered by a small towel that was almost coming off.

The worst part was the fact that she-he-it was on top of Nii-san, Kissing him. Ok I lied the _worst_ part was the fact that Nii-san was taking pleasure that Envy was doing this. He had his hands securely placed on Envy's thighs and was moving them up to her bottom.

I swear that I would go blind if I was not in a suit of armor. I could see up Envy's towel and trust me _that_ was something I could live without seeing.

Don't get me wrong if I was into girls like older men were I would have blood spraying out of my nose. But, because I'm a little boy at heart so this was as awkward as seeing you parents kiss, naked, in a bed, except it wasn't your parents it was your brother with his enemy.

Looking over at Roy he seemed concerned, angry, and horny at the same time resulting in a hilarious look on his face.

When Nii-san looked up he had a look of shame on his face.

'_Good he should be ashamed!'_

Then that ugly palm tree reared its head. Looking confused and somewhat embarrassed.

Apparently the position that Envy was in did not agree with the towel covering the naked body that lay beneath because it slipped revealing a breast that should not be anywhere near that size.

Ed panicked somewhat and did the first thing he could and grabbed the breast.

"Wow Chibi I never thought of you as that horny that you would be willing to fuck me in front of your boss and your brother, not that I mind." Envy teased.

I never noticed it but Nii-san was in fact naked. So did that mean that he and Envy…

"Full Metal what happened to 'No we didn't have sex'?" Roy blurted out.

"Fuck off Roy I don't have time for you!" Ed yelled flustered.

"I am just being ignored now?" Envy said pouting.

"Fuck you Envy!" Roy yelled.

"Sorry Roy-baby I already got someone to do that for me." Envy shot back.

"Al get out of here I need to talk to your brother and his _guest_ for a moment." Roy said eyeing Envy with a look that could only be described as pure disgust.

"Ok" I yelled as I ran out as fast as I could. I did, though, press my ear against the door so I could hear what was going on.

9

"Ed get dressed ok." Roy instructed.

"I can't do that with you staring at my dick now can I colonel." Ed spat.

"you don't seem to mind when the man-whore does it." Roy spat back glaring at Envy.

"Don't worry Ed I'll distract him while you get dressed." Envy offered.

"How do you think that will w-w—"Roy began to say before Envy dropped the towel and walked toward him. She took his hand and guided it to her boob. Making it massage the flesh in his hand.

"Now this is what a real woman feels like Roy-baby." Envy purred.

"You, you are ahhhh ohh-"Roy let slide out of his lips.

"I'm what honey, a guy? Like I keep telling you I am in fact a woman. A woman alone with no one to comfort her for four hundred long years." Envy teased as Roy looked at her confused but definitely aroused.

"Now Roy if you would mind, stop sexually harassing my girlfriend." The newly dressed Ed demanded.

"Thank you baby. I was getting so nervous. He just tore off my towel and grabbed my boob then he started making comments about how I felt like a real woman. I was afraid he was gonna pull something." Envy played along.

"Roy let's get down to business, what do you want?" Ed said dragging them into a long and boring conversation that ended with Roy sworn to secrecy. Then Al. Then Envy had to go home and be yelled at or something. In the end basically all they did was traumatize Roy.

9

_**To Be Continued…**_

_Guilty Pleasure_

_-Kezia_

_

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Read and review because I told you too. Now the guy in front of me is a retard... yes, you!  
_


	4. LoveGame

Ok, I am sooooo happy that people like my story. Sadly, my friend isn't here today so no interesting conversations. Last week all we did was play with barbies... I mean people, as we call them. Yea! I'm babysitting a cat right now. He's soooo cute. You'll just be sitting on the couch and then you'll hear a tiny meow.

Now, I have like tons of ideas to write so if you would please tell me if I should even bother with writing anymore.

I don't own FMA, really I don't. So please, stop saying I do. I'm flattered that you think I write so good, but your only saying that because your adopted. Yes, I know it's not your fault but your problem is pissing me off, and therefore fucking up my schedule. Please stop being so damn... adopted. (LOL RWJ)

ONWARD WITH THE STORY!

* * *

Unexpected Events

Chapter 4- LoveGame

12

Envy had continued to be told to stalk Ed and continued her relationship with him like that for 1 month. After a couple days like this she went home because she was suppose to go home and report with Dante yesterday. So she left Chibi in the middle of the night with no word and headed home.

12

When Envy got home Dante was waiting, sitting on the couch looking at her with a menacing smile.

"Well hello Envy I though you would come home yesterday. Have a little too much funny with your little brother?" Dante teased, knowing she would get a reaction from her little homunculus baby.

"No I decided to get away from this hell hole and walk the streets for a little. Then I was caught by that retarded Roy Mustang." Envy lied.

"Ok then I was just wondering. Now then on to the matter at hand. I will send you off to do a very secretive mission that involves getting inside an organization. You will go to the town of Dublith and on the outskirts of town there is a gang hideout. They have messed with me and I will show them what they get. Just get close to them then take all their money, possessions, and anything else that I could use. Then kill them off."

"Why do _I_ have to do it?"

"Because, envy, you are the best suited for the job and I have to say that the form you are in now would fit in with them so there is no changing of forms required. Actually I would like you not to shape shift during this mission."

"Why not?!?"

"I just want to see how capable my son really is and if you do your leash will gain a little more slack, let's just say that."

"Ok fine, but how long will this take?"

"About 1 ½ months, not that long. Oh yeah your train leaves in 40 minutes I suggest that you get a move on with packing."

Before Dante could say any more Envy ran upstairs and took out a suitcase. Then she looked into her wardrobe. Sadly, because Envy didn't need clothes to change and just shape shifted, she had all of 5 outfits. 4 pairs of black skin-tight skorts, 4 cropped tops (also black and skin tight), the last outfit was something that she never wanted to wear. It was a fitted black tank top with tight leather pants and one of Ed's red jackets that she stole.

Putting that in her bag just in case she needed it Envy ran down the stairs and down out of the manor. It took her all of 20 minutes to get to the train station and buy a ticket. Luckily not many people want to travel to Dublith at 3:30 AM. She boarded and took a seat in the back corner, falling asleep before the train took off.

12

When the train stopped it jerked forward, letting Envy fall off the seat and hit the floor, waking her up instantly.

"FUCK! I AM GOIN—"Envy started to say before she realized that she was on a small train and that there were little, now traumatized, children aboard. Silently she left with her small suitcase in her hand as she got off the train. She went to a little diner with no people in it and sat down. She dozed off for about 5 minutes before she was poked with a long finger. Opening her eyes she spotted Lust and Gluttony.

"Wada ya want?" Envy questioned sleepily.

"Ohh Envy don't tell me you forgot, I'm here to give you the full mission plan." Lust replied.

They sat and talked for a little before being interrupted by a human. This human was apparently the waiter of this little food joint and was now just coming to take their orders.

"Ummm… ahhhh… May I take your order?" He asked nervously.

"Yes I'll have a coffee." Lust replied "And he" She said pointing to Envy. "Will just say 'Fuc—"

"I'll have a House salad with bread sticks and a cinnamon bun." Envy ordered cutting Lust off.

"Ok would you like any dressings or condiments?" The waiter questioned again.

"Umm yes, I will have some Ranch dressing, syrup, and lots of butter on the side please." Envy said.

"I'll get that right away, excuse me." The waiter said before rushing off to the kitchen.

"What the fuck Envy! You never eat and usually if someone like that would question you further you would just take your knife and slit his neck open!" Lust argued.

"Well maybe I'm hungry ever think about that?!?"

"Well yes but then common sense kicked in! Envy what is wrong with you!"

"Nothing is wrong with me you're just being a stuck up bitch who wants nothing more than to ruin my life."

"Umm sir, your lunch is here." The waiter asked nervously

"Ohhhh Yippee!!" Envy yelled as she jumped almost a yard out of her seat.

"And your coffee miss." He gave a smile towards Lust.

"Good now go away." Lust shot him a look that said just that.

As Envy dug into her food she saw Lust starring at her in disgust. Envy had taken the butter and spread it all over the breadsticks, salad, and cinnamon bun. Then she took the ranch dressing and put most of the bottle on the cinnamon bun. Taking her knife she cut it up into little pieces before taking the syrup and pouring it into her salad. Lastly she took the chunks of bun and slid them off her plate and onto the salad, tossing and mixing them together. She then dipped her bread stick in the nasty concoction and took a bite. It tasted so wonderful she couldn't believe it. She dug in finishing it in less than 5 minutes.

"Envy I am serious. If you don't stop playing this game I will get Dante involved." Lust announced worriedly.

"Umm… Lust I would love to tell you that I am kidding but I am not." Envy whispered.

Just then Envy felt sick to her stomach and rushed to the bathroom. She was followed by Lust, mainly because she forgot to go into the men's bathroom, and was watched by her as she puked her guts up.

"See, Envy, this is what you get for eating that." Lust teased.

"Shut up, Lust! I've have actually been puking like this every morning for 5 days now I don't think that me eating all a sudden would make a difference." Envy spat back at Lust.

"Hey Envy, can I see something for a second." Lust asked.

"Sure what do ya—Ouch what the hell was that for?" Envy yelled as Lust stuck a finger through her chest and put some of her blood in a small vial. (Does she take that with her everywhere? O_O)

"Oh nothing I just needed a blood sample." Lust said simply

"Well if you wanted a blood sample I could have ripped off my arm or something."

There was a scream coming from the door and as the two homunculi looked up they saw the waiter. Well that would take some explaining.

12

I'm just a small town waiter working at this diner and then these weird people come in. I serve them like any normal costumers because I'm scared that if I don't that they will kill me.

After I served them the male customer who looked like he was about 17 or so ran to the bathroom, the woman's bathroom. This was puzzling so I went to check it out. Especially since the female customer who looked like his mom or something followed him.

I put my ear to the door and listened:

"_See, Envy, this is what you get for eating that." _

So I guess the guy's name is Envy.

"_Shut up, Lust! I've have actually been puking like this every morning for 5 days now I don't think that me eating all a sudden would make a difference." _

And the woman is Lust. (Wow what fitting names)

"_Hey Envy, can I see something for a second."_

"_Sure what do ya—Ouch what the hell was that for?"_

I heard the sound of ripping flesh before I heard a scream.

"_Oh nothing I just needed a blood sample." _

"_Well if you wanted a blood sample I could have ripped off my arm or something."_

That's it I had to intervene. When I burst through the door I saw the Woman extending her fingers that were through the chest of the young man. The scary thing was that he was ok and was actually talking. Bad choice because instantly Lust took her fingers out of Envy and turned towards me.

My life flashed before my eyes and then… nothing.

12

"Jeeze, you didn't have to kill him." Envy whined.

"Yeah but what would he do if I didn't?" Lust shot back giving Envy a look that was meant to kill.

"You have the information now please leave and get going. I'll give you the results in about 3 days." Lust said before pushing Envy out the door.

'_Jeeze, what a bitch!'_

12

Envy, like a good little homunculus, did what she was told and for the past 2 weeks had begun to gain the trust of the gang she joined. Lust had come back three days after the incident in the diner. Telling Envy that she needed more proof on the matter. Tomorrow was the day that Lust said that she would be back.

Watching the train station for people who looked rich, Envy sat on the bench. Her new job was watching for rich people and mugging them before they got into the town. Then she saw a man she thought she would never see again.

"Edward!" Envy yelled running up to the smaller boy with a smile on her face.

"Envy what are you doing here? And why are you wearing my jacket?"

Envy was wearing the jacket that she stole from Ed because her other clothes were in the wash.

"Ok, I'm here on a mission and don't have a lot of time. Wanna do a quickie at the place your stayin at?" Envy chided.

"Umm well sure just let me make sure that they leave first." Ed said as he motioned Envy to follow.

Envy followed Ed to his teacher, Izumi Curtis', House. He greeted her and then assured them he was alright before they left to do their daily activities. When the coast was clear Ed invited Envy in.

12

When I invited Envy in she pushed me upstairs and into my room. She threw me on the bed and began to strip me.

I began to partake in the game to and removed her tank top, then her pants, then her shorts. As she prepared herself I ran my hands over her smooth stomach, I always liked the feeling of her hard muscles under my hands. This time was different because as I moved my hand along her tummy I felt a bulge. That was odd; I had never felt a bump under Envy's shirt before. It was small and barely noticeable but it was there.

She was in no way shape or form to be considered fat so that confused me. I was brought out of my thought as I felt the weird sensation of Envy riding me.

I always like being inside Envy and this was no exception. I loved the feeling and when we came I felt like a weight was lifted off my chest. Well that was probably because Envy got off of me. She felt heavier than before but only by about 3 lbs. or so.

She quickly got dressed and assured me that she would most likely be back. About 3 minutes after she jumped out of my window Izumi came up and started talking to me about some kid that I knew a little while back.

His name was Spencer and when I was at Izumi's he would come over and play with me and Al. She told me about how he got a job at a local diner. Then she hit me with some news I thought I would never hear. He had been murdered in the woman's bathroom about 2 weeks ago. His head was cleanly sliced in two and Izumi was pretty sure a homunculus did it.

The news hit me and then it connected… Envy had killed him, my friend, Spencer Conner.

12

_LoveGame _

_-Lady Gaga_

_**To Be Continued…**_

_**

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**_V Click this button you adopted bastards V_**  
**_


	5. Tell Her

Heheh yeah I haven't updated lately. Not that any of you noticed but that's fine, I like to pretend I'm loved. Heh funny fantasy right? Well I probably won't start writing and posting again until summer because I've got final exams coming up and a HUGE U.S. history project due hmmm let's see... tomorrow. Well... this sucks. On Monday my project is due I have like five tests, I was gone on Friday so I got to make up stuff, I have a concert, and I've got to pack because my class is taking a two day trip on Tuesday. Sooo I'm pretty booked. But just wait, there's more! I have like tons of stories almost finished so why not publish them later? We also had to write a letter to our senior selves and well all I did was basically screw around and put random stuff in mine and then inside the envelope I put five Meowth Pokémon cards and my teacher is all like "What are you five or something? You still like Pokémon?" and then I just walked out because it's true.

So enough about myself. Now I do NOT own FMA or any thing else that I might mention in this story that by mentioning it means I somehow own it. Which I don't get but I'm kinda dull so I don't get a lot of things.

Ok I'm done now.

* * *

Unexpected events

Chapter 5- Tell Her

15

The day that Envy would get a straight answer from Lust was today and she couldn't wait. Lust had looked at her like she was some kind of freak when they last met so she wanted to see what was wrong with her.

Envy sat down at the diner that she was supposed to meet at. Lust came and sat down next to her.

"Envy, before we start anything I need to ask you something… Were you or are you a girl?"

"Why does that matter?"

"Envy just answer me truthfully because depending on your answer you could be in danger."

"Ok fine, slave driver, but you have to promise not to tell anyone ok. The truth is that I am a girl."

"Ok that makes it a hell of a lot easier to say this. I won't lie to you… You're pregnant, Envy."

"WHAA-? But that is not possible! I'm a homunculus a puppet with no soul I can't reproduce!"

"Well being that you are the first, and the oldest, there might have been something wrong with you when you were created."

"No, no, no, no!" Envy started screaming breaking down into tears.

"Don't make a scene Envy. Just accept it and move on."

"I can get rid of it, right?"

"No sorry Envy, Dante wants to keep it and so we will."

"Just leave me alone!" Envy screamed, tears pouring from her eyes, as she fled the diner. She had to tell Ed! Yeah he would know what to do.

Running down the street she ran into Ed. Her face lightened up a bit but tears wouldn't stop flowing from her eyes.

"Ed I need to talk with you!"

"NO! I NEED TO TALK WITH YOU FIRST!" Ed screamed at Envy, which was not helping her mood and just made her depressed beyond belief. Now she just felt like killing herself.

"Ed this is really important! I need to tell you that I'm p-."

"No you are a cheating, lying, low life, sad excuse for a woman. You lied to me told me that you loved me! Then you go behind my back and kill my friends. Then you try and act like you did nothing and you come running to me with fake tears in your eyes, it's disgusting!"

Envy couldn't take any more she shoved Ed into the street and out of the way and screamed, "Don't EVER so much as look at me again! I don't want anything to do with you! YOU go and ruin my life FOEVER and then you go and make up some bullshit story on how I killed one of your friends. I will have you know that I hope your little pussy friend of yours is burning in hell right now… And I hope YOU will too!"

Running down the street Envy had decided that she would keep the baby and use it against Ed whenever she could. So when he had found himself a wife she would show them his love child and boom relationship gone. Oh revenge _would _be sweet.

15

Ed sat on his bed thinking about that morning. What had he done? He drove the only person he loved away for something she didn't even do. Before he snapped at her it seemed like she was glad to see him and had some really bad news… just what was it?

"_Ed this is really important! I need to tell you that I'm p-."_

That she was what? Damn his short temper_._

"_YOU go and ruin my life FOREVER"_

How had he ruined her life?

He couldn't sit around all day so he decided to go out and look for her. Maybe if he was lucky he would get some make-up sex, mmmmm that would be good.

3

Envy had been avoiding Ed at all costs. She had finished up her mission and got out of that hell hole as fast as she could.

When she broke up with Ed all she could do was either break things or cry her heart out, damn mood swings. Envy had not eaten well, mostly because of her morning sickness, but also because of the fact she wanted the kid to have the worst life possible. Not only would it be the offspring of Edward Elric it would carry a strong blood relation to Hoeinhiem, since Envy and Ed were both children of his.

When she got back she was greeted warmly by her brother and sister Homunculi and of course her loving mother Dante. Well as warmly as you could be greeted by a group of cold blooded murderers.

When she got up close she saw that everyone was looking at her bloated tummy. Envy knew that some women tended to show around 10 weeks but she never thought of that including her.

Quickly to discourage any more attention to the unborn 'thing' inside Envy she pulled up her skort to fit comfortably over her belly, hiding most of it.

"Envy I have one last mission for you, I hope you don't mind taking it in your 'delicate condition'." Dante announced.

"Ok what do I need to do exactly?" Envy asked.

"Well you will be back-up for Lust in the plan to kill Maes Hughes. If Lust fails to kill him on the first try I want you to take the form of one of his lower officers and help him until you are in a secluded area. Then kill him by shooting him, after that leave the crime scene immediately." Dante explained.

"I'll take it. Trust me it won't be too much of a hassle, especially if I don't have to do any hand-to-hand combat. Nothing will hit my stomach so I will be fine." Envy assured her.

The plan would be executed the next day and Envy would be in it hopefully. She secretly wished that she would get to kill Hughes because he was one of Full Metal's best friends.

15

On the day of her mission Envy got ready and looked up who she would take form as, Maria Ross, it seemed like Hughes trusted her enough. When she opened her wardrobe she saw the little 'prank' that Wrath had pulled. He, with the help of Greed, had replaced her closet with big floral print maternity dresses.

Sneering Envy closed her wardrobe. She took the shape of Maria Ross and headed out with Sloth and Lust to meet up with the 'target'.

When they got to the place where Lust was supposed to kill Hughes right away she missed and hit his shoulder. He got her in the head with one of his throwing knifes and ran. Envy ran after him feeling slightly sick to her stomach, damn morning sickness.

When she followed Hughes to a phone booth outside, she waited for the perfect moment. But before that chance came Hughes told her to give up the act.

"You know that Maria Ross has a mole under her left eye." He said cockily.

"Oh sorry." Envy said teasing as she shifted to place the mole in the correct spot. "Is that better?"

Before Hughes answered he slashed open Envy's throat. Envy could feel herself hit the ground. Hughes turned around like an idiot and assumed that Envy was dead.

"Don't kill me off that easily Hughes." Envy said returning to her original form.

Just then Hughes engaged in hand-to-hand combat with Envy. Trying to keep all kicks away from her stomach but something was slowing her down. She felt a sharp pain to her stomach and collapsed.

"St-stop. th-that. i-i-it. Hur-r-ts!" Envy managed to choke out, gripping her bloated belly.

"What's the matter? Can't take the pain? I thought you Homunculi were supposed to be like invincible or something. Oh well let's finish what we started, shall we."

"Stop right there Hughes!" Lust came running towards him.

Sloth kneeled down by Envy and checked to see how she was doing.

"S-sloth… I-it. H-h-h-urts… M-make it S-STOP!" Envy gasped.

"Don't worry Envy we will get you help and you both will be just fine." Sloth said assuring.

"Hughes, you didn't hit her stomach? Did you?" Lust asked worried.

"Maybe once, why?" Hughes asked.

"Take her to your house right away and have your wife take care of her. If you don't you could be charged for murder." Sloth ordered to Hughes.

"What? Her? Murder? What's going on here?" Hughes asked worried.

"JUST GO!" Lust yelled before Sloth could even respond.

Almost instantly Hughes picked up the light Homunculus and began to run it to his home.

Then he heard a barely audible whisper coming from the sin, "M-my b-baby."

15

_**To Be Continued…**_

_Tell Her_

–_Jessy Mc Cartney

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_

_You know the deal..._


	6. Poof!

Yea! Back from a hectic summer vacation of 'Band Camp' and complete laziness to bring you some really crappy story. So enjoy... and just hope that you don't get tooo bored with me...

* * *

Unexpected Events

Chapter 6- Poof!

18

When Hughes got to the door he pounded on it furiously until his loving wife opened the door.

"Hello Gracia, We don't have time to chit-chat. We need to get her to the guest bedroom now!" Hughes yelled feverishly.

When Envy was securely in bed Gracia asked "Do you know anything about what is wrong with her?"

"No they told me to take her to you, that you would know to do. But, if it helps when I was taking her over her she said to save her baby." Hughes replied.

Gracia began to poke and prod the sin's abdominal regions before getting a concerned look on her face.

"Hughes, please leave this room." Gracia asked. As Hughes was following his wife's orders Envy woke up.

"Good you're awake. Could you please tell me your name?" Gracia asked trying not to sound concerned.

"E-Envy." The sin replied.

"Envy what a pretty name. Ok can you tell me how far along you are in your pregnancy." Gracia asked a little more concerned now that it dealt with the child's well being.

"About 10 weeks." Envy gasped painfully.

"Just hold still and I will try and save your baby." Gracia announced.

18

Ed was running to Hughes apartment. One, because Hughes was allegedly attacked earlier and might need help. Two, because he might be able to help Hughes with his relationship problem.

Ed knocked on the door and waited, it took quite a while but someone finally opened the door. It was a traumatized Hughes. Ed could see that he was madly pacing around the room.

Just then Ed heard an ear shattering scream. It sounded like Envy's scream. Ed rushed to the room where the scream came from. When he put his ear to the door he heard the soft voice of Gracia say, "I-I'm sorry Envy, it didn't make it.

Ed heard another one of Envy's screams. It wasn't a painful scream just a sad filled with regret one, for some reason that one hit Ed's heart the hardest and he went to go and enter the room. Before he could enter the room he was stopped by Hughes. "Don't go in there Full Metal, it's none of you business."

"It sure as hell is my business! Envy is my…" Ed stopped himself there and ran into the room. What he saw when he entered was awful. Envy was on the bed in the fetal position, crying, and Gracia was in the corner mourning her failure.

As Ed slowly approached Envy he saw that she was sitting in a pile of blood and didn't seem happy about it. Ed instinctively wrapped his hands around her and pulled the sin into a tight embrace.

"Don't worry Envy I'm here." Ed said reassuringly.

"I'm sorry Ed. I-I lost it. What I was trying to tell you a month ago was that I was pregnant. But, I lost the baby… I'm a failure." Envy said choking back tears.

"Uhhh… Ok just let me take in all of this…" Ed said not realizing that Gracia, Hughes, Dante, and all the Homunculi had come into the room and were listening. "So I was a father for like 2 months now I have just lost the child I never knew I had."

"Oh Envy you didn't tell me you fucked Full Metal!" Greed teased.

"Wow Envy, I was beginning to think of you as useful but you can't even keep a child alive. To think that I actually considered treating you like my child." Dante glared at her Homunculus before turning away from her.

"Ed If you don't mind we need to talk to Envy." Lust said.

When Ed left the room he was scared about Envy and just wanted to sit by her and comfort her. That would never happen.

18

"Envy, did you really lose the baby?" Lust asked.

"Yes. Can we not talk about that?" Envy answered.

"No, we will talk about your failure all we want. You will listen to it and learn what you did wrong." Dante sneered.

"Ok so what do you want me to do? Sleep with Chibi until I get knocked up again?" Envy suggested.

"Like he would go for that!" Greed argued.

"Ohhh you'd be surprised at how horny the Chibi can get." Envy purred.

"Wow you just lost your child and now you're thinking about sex, you're sick you know that!" Lust joked.

Poor Wrath and Gluttony were sitting in a corner not understanding a word.

"So no little baby?" chimed Wrath and Gluttony in unison.

"NO" Yelled the rest of the extremely upset Homunculi.

"But why? You guys promised that Envy would get fat and then a baby would pop out!" Wrath whined.

Lust went a kneeled down by Wrath and began to explain. "Wrath, children are small and precious things… When a woman is going to have a baby she has to be careful. Sometimes something the woman does is hurtful to the child or something else happens and the woman has something called a miscarriage. A miscarriage is when the unborn baby dies before it's born, resulting in, no more baby."

"That's what happened to Envy and poof 'No more baby'?" Wrath asked

"Yes poof." Lust said when a tear came out of the corner of her eye.

Then a small shaking hand went and brushed the tear away. It was Envy's hand. She was shaking obviously from the stress of just losing her baby. But she was there comforting someone who was sad for the loss of _her_ baby.

As Lust looked at the scene she saw that Envy was pale, shaking, and holding back tears. Her skort was discarded and she was being covered by a long T-shirt that was stained with blood on the lower half.

"I'm going to take a shower." Envy said simply as she walked out of the room.

Outside she saw 4 pairs of eyes on her, Hughes, Gracia, a little girl (probably Hughes child), and of course Chibi.

"I'm taking a shower where's the bathroom?" Envy asked nicely.

"It's down the hall but you shouldn't take one alone maybe I-"Gracia started to say before she was cut off.

"I'll take Chibi with me. He's already seen me naked and he is strong so if anything happens he'll help" Envy said quickly. Before anyone could object she grabbed Ed's hand and dragged him to the bathroom.

"Oh yeah I'll leave when I'm done with me shower." Envy turned around smiling.

Envy closed the bathroom door and turned on the shower before locking the door. Turning to Ed she pushed him into the shower and began kissing him.

"E-Envy what are you doing? Our clothes are still on! Why are you acting like nothing happened?" Ed asked.

"Chibi it's time to leave the past behind! Well what I was thinking is that it would be kinda sexy if you undressed me and I undress you when were in the shower." Envy said.

"WHAT? You're thinking about SEX?"

"Well yeah I kinda wanted a kid so we can continue what we had and have another baby."

"You mean that if we do it in the shower you could get pregnant again?"

"Well not now but maybe in a couple weeks."

"Ok I think that's pretty cool but there's a problem. You know Winry…"

"NO she's not pregnant is she?"

"No, no, no that's not it I think she likes me…"

"Well never mind I'm not feeling like it right now. Just take off my shirt and wash my back. You will take me back to your place and we will do it there got it?"

"So I have no say in this…"

"Pretty much."

After the shower Envy was escorted out by Ed and was taken back to his apartment.

18

_**To Be Continued…**_

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**_**Sorry it took so long to update... not that any of you were actually waiting for it... I hope. I got side tracked by... it pains me to say it... Yu-Gi-Oh!... shut up... I hate to say it but I will. I am in High School and I still watch/read Yu-Gi-Oh! not any of that GX or 5D's crap either. Just good ol' fashioned YGO with Bakura (extream ****smexyness alert) and the Millennium Items and the Egypt thing and Seto with that branch I mean stick up you-know-where... yeah so I have officially read like every single Yaoi fic ****with Bakura in it that's worth reading and now that I have done that and wasted my summer away with playing my Violin in the middle of the forest and put off reading that 552 page book for my AP class next year... R&R PLZZZZZZZZZ!**_**  
**_


	7. The Little Shoppe

A/N- Okay, I have a lot of explaining to do I guess... Well I haven't been feeling well lately, I guess is how I should put it. I fell in love. We broke up, he lied, and lied, and lied. He said he was there for me, he lied again. Now he thinks I'm a freak. What makes me so guilty is not that I forgot about the story or anything, it's that I knew darn well that this needed to be updated, along with the fact that I have this story already complete so it's not like I was too busy to write anything. So I have no real reason not to update, all I have to do is add the A/N and the disclaimer... that's all.

Disclaimer- Do we really need to go over this.

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Unexpected Events

Chapter 7- The Little Shoppe

21

When Ed opened the door to his apartment Envy quickly pushed him in and closed the door.

"Umm Envy the bedroom is over there." Ed said before he was pushed roughly on the couch.

"Well I really want to so you will shut up and fuck me on the couch." Envy purred into his ear while unbuttoning his pants and slipping off his shirt.

"But what if someone s-eeesss us?" Ed said while Envy was exploring certain areas of his body.

"What so you're ashamed of me now?" Envy whined in his ear before biting it.

"Ummm well-"

"SHUT UP AND FUCK ME!" (Wow mood swings O_O)

This was new to Ed because Envy was always on top… that was very odd that Envy just wanted to lay there and let Ed take the reins.

Ed made sure Envy was ok before he quickened his pace. He could feel that Envy was close to coming and that he wasn't far behind. Envy came shouting something between fuck and Ed. Before Ed came he heard the door open, someone gasping, and something dropping.

(OMG THAT is cliché… I've used that how many times now?)

Ed turned around there he saw Al and Winry starring shocked in the doorway. The real mood killer was when Envy just had to blurt out:

"Oh well guess we've been caught-"

"Envy… GET OUT!" Ed yelled at Envy at the top of his lungs.

Quickly all that anyone could see was the outline of a small, bloated belly Homunculus slip out of the window and into the street.

"Ed can you explain to me who that was and how come he was here."

"Winry that was the Homunculus named Envy I told you about. He was having a hard time and I had one thing that I was afraid to ask you and one thing lead to another and he-he tricked me into sleeping with him!" Ed started fake crying. Why was he lying about Envy, he loved her… didn't he?

"Ed, what did you want to ask me?" Winry asked

"Ummm… I wanted to say that I like you and that… will you… umm… will you marry me?" Ed wasn't sure what was coming out of his mouth all he realized was that what he said made Winry blush. Then reality hit him… hard.

"So let me get this straight, I say that I like you so you go, sleep with your enemy, get caught by the person you love, and then you ask them to marry you? Did I get that?"

"Yes."

"Well then I will marry you."

Crap how will Envy take that.

21

A few weeks after Envy's miscarriage she was finally out of bed and could see Ed.

What had happened was after Envy got home she was attacked by Lust and Sloth to stay in bed. Her stomach had hurt longer than expected and she started throwing up again. For 3 weeks all she did was stay in bed.

Before she left Sloth said that she had something to tell her. When Sloth came into the room she had a huge grin on her face.

"Envy guess what!"

"What?"

"You didn't lose the baby! Or at least you lost only one of them. Apparently you had twins or something so when you got hit one took more damage than the other and then one died so the other could live!"

"Sooo?"

"You're still pregnant and now you should go tell Ed."

21

When Envy heard the news she practically jumped out of her bed and through a wall. When she got to the military base she sat and waited for her Chibi-lover to come around.

After about 5 minutes of waiting Envy finally saw Ed. He was not alone, though. He was walking along side his tin can of a brother, and for some reason, that slut Winry.

Ever since Ed told her about Miss Winry Envy always considered her as a rival. Not that she was much competition. Even though she was nowhere near as experienced as Envy and, though Envy did have no breast to speak of, she still didn't have a good of a body as she did. Especially since Envy could change her form.

To get the Chibi over to her was easy. To get the Chibi over to her, with no one noticing, however was a whole different story. Getting his attention by jumping around, she waved him over. When he was close enough she grabbed his arm. Behind the shelter of the building she brought him into a tight embrace. Ed hesitated for a moment and pushed away saying.

"Envy the thing I told Winry that… that I-"

"Am already taken by me and she can't have you." Envy finished.

"No I told her that I love her and now we're getting married… in a month."

"WHAT? Let me get this straight, so I get pregnant and try and keep the child because I _love_ you and you turn the dogs loose on me. She catches you sleeping with your enemy, and can use that against you at _any _time, and she gets a fucking wedding!"

"Envy it's not like that it's just-"

"Oh so I'm having your kid and I'm not important enough to have at least the opportunity to stay with you overnight. You never even said you loved me; you just played with my heart and then when I get knocked up you drop it like a hot iron! Fine be like that bastard father of yours! I NEVER want to see you again!" Envy screamed. Before leaving she added, "Oh yeah, to make sure you have no kids with that slut Winry…" She turned around and right square in the balls she kicked Ed as hard as she could, then she ran off crying.

'_Why am I so surprised no one ever wants me. why would he be any different?'_

When Envy got home she ran to her room and stayed in it for 2 days, never coming out and refusing to eat.

21

What just happened? One moment Ed was talking to a practically glowing Envy the next he's on the ground clutching his now throbbing crotch.

"Nii-san, you really should think about your actions. Envy was serious, I could tell. She meant it when she said she loved you. Also I think the entire time she was hinting that she was pregnant."

"No Al she can't be. She had a very tragic accident and a miscarriage 3 weeks ago. Hey wait did you listen to the entire conversation?"

"Yes Nii-san I did. I think you should apologize to Envy."

"No way Al I just got rid of that crazy bitch, I am not going back."

"Well Nii-san from the look on your face you are hurting to, from the heart, you loved her too I can tell from the pain you are wearing on your face… not just because Envy probably just castrated you."

"No Al what we had was strictly sexual, Nothing to it. I think that her hormones are just acting up."

"Whatever you say Nii-san, but I think you will always feel something missing because you gave up on her."

With that said Ed got up painfully and then started walking slowly to the main entrance like someone had well… just kicked him in the balls. Winry caught up to him when she mentioned something that got Ed thinking but he quickly dismissed it.

"Wow I just saw this pregnant woman running out from behind a building. Looks like someone's army lover just left them."

When Ed went to Mustang to ask for time off he was trying not to think of the possibility that he just deserted his child because of some stupid argument.

21

After Envy's little melt down she came out of the room and sat down at the table.

"So looks like the little alchemist dumped you huh." Lust chuckled; she always like seeing Envy fail and this was no exception.

"No he went off and in the 3 weeks you insisted you keep me in bed, got himself a wife and said he didn't need an emotional wreck of a lover anymore." Envy blurted out.

"So in other words, he dumped you." Sloth said.

"No I dumped him then I tried to castrate him." Envy replied with a smile.

"Good at least there won't be any more devil spawn running around." Lust joked.

"Hey, I was thinking about moving out and getting an apartment somewhere. You think that would be a good idea." Envy asked.

"Well considering that we could put the child in danger here I think that is a great idea. In fact let's get you one near the military building." Came a voice from the door.

When Envy looked up she saw Dante standing in the doorway with a smug look on her face.

"So you will allow me to move out of the manor, get a job, and raise a family on my own?" Envy asked

"Yes, and I have made an offer on the apartment, you are to move in tomorrow. Now get packing and get out of my sight."

Envy ran upstairs and gleefully packed her clothes and any other small items before she realized what she was given. If there was a god he was giving her a second chance at life… or un-life.

The next day she got ready to move. Apparently Dante had given the people lots of money so she already got furniture and appliances in her home. Dante also recommended her for a job at a local bakery as the head cake chef.

The biggest secret Envy ever shared with Dante was the fact that she was an insanely good cook. Well what are you gonna do with 400 years on your hands. So apparently Dante took that into consideration when she was picking a job for Envy, which she also had no say in.

Envy's new work place was a little corner bakery named '_The Little Shoppe'_ well at least it looked professional. What Envy was told to do was to go in introduce herself and then bake something for them.

Envy went into the bakery and found a little old woman at the counter.

"Umm. Hello I'm Envy the new employee candidate." Envy said shyly, mostly because the woman was now frowning at what Envy was wearing. Envy was too ever since she started to show she was more hesitant about wearing what she did. Now the floral print maternity dresses were looking pretty good right about now.

"Are you always going to dress like _that_?" The old woman asked.

"Oh no this was all I had. I just moved here and I had to leave my old house as quickly as I could so I didn't get much packed. This is how should I put it… My second chance." Envy said.

"OK well I don't want to pry but why did you leave so quickly?" The woman asked.

"Well I don't want to really talk about it but since I will hopefully be working here honesty is the best policy right?" Getting no reaction from the woman Envy continued. "I used to work at this bakery back home. I had a great life but one day one of my Ex's came to town and he started following me. Then about 5 months ago he said he wanted me back. I took up his offer and we started going out. After about a month he wanted to move the relationship farther, I didn't. Well he raped me and then beat me. When I thought I was safe he came back so I had to move away from him and start anew. I had to know nothing about what I was going to do because he would find me if I did." Envy made up, it sounded convincing enough.

"Oh you poor thing. Are you ok?" The old lady asked worriedly getting no answer continued.

"Well ok then right this way to the kitchen please, take your time and make whatever you want." The old woman explained before fleeing the room.

Envy though a bit then decided to make baked Alaska. It turned out perfect and the woman gave her the job.

Before Envy went home she went clothes shopping. Envy bought a bag of loose fitting tops and dresses, some training bras, some skirts, lots of pants, and a pair of needles to go into a bun of hair.

Now with her new wardrobe she headed home. All the stuff she brought from the manor was in two suit cases haphazardly thrown in front of the door. Envy went to pick them up when her back started hurting quickly she opened the door, closed it, then sat sown on the couch and started rubbing her back.

"Tomorrow is the start of my new life she told herself as she got up to get ready for bed."

21

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_**To Be Continued… **_

Well to be completely honest, I know darn well that miscarriages don't happen like that. I call creative license on this one so bite me. _**R&R PLzz  
**_


	8. I Hate Everything About You

Unexpected Events

Chapter 8- I Hate Everything about You

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A/N- Okay, I'm actually going to try and update regularly! -Gasp- yeah I know, shocking, really though... I wouldn't disappoint you would I? (Please do not answer that). I thank you tremendously for your reviews and support! My ex... he's an ass. We got together right after his old girlfriend dumped him, then, on Valentine's Day, dumps me for her. Pissed me off a great deal that's for sure. Actually (Insert advertisement here) my friend suggested writing about my problems. Soooo... I have a new fanfiction coming out! I will probably post it after July if I get around to it, I have the rest of my online math class to finish (Go Calculus!), I have my summer reading for AP world hist. and AP Lang, but other than that... I'm awesome!

P.s.- One last thing, I kind of lied about the updating regularly thing because I am going to Band Camp (heheh... American Pie) from the end of June into the second week of July. Therefore, I will update one last time before I go away and I might be back on the 15th to update, If not, I'll see you on the 24th of June, then again on the 22nd of July. (I update on Fridays) I might make an exception and update two chapter before I leave and when I get back. ~It's up to youuuuu~~~~

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24

When Envy woke up it was 5:00 A.M. She didn't have to go to work until 12 because it was a Sunday. That was a good thing because it not only was her first day of work but she also had to change her entire look.

She couldn't just shift because the baby hated it whenever she did and it made her sick. So she just settled with changing her hair. She first took a shower and then dried her hair out. When it was damp she cut it about 3 inches and then waited for it to dry completely.

When her hair was dry she took and combed it out and put it into a bun. Then to add some style she put the two needles through her bun and got dressed. She first tried on her training bra. Her boobs had grown so it only seemed right to wear one. It fit and she was used to the feel of something like that so it didn't bother her. She then put on a top that was tied under her chest and then fit loosely under it to hide any sign of her bloated belly. She then put on a plain black skirt that came just above her knees.

It was 11:30 so she left, it would take about 15 minutes to get to the bakery so being there 15 minutes early wouldn't matter.

When Envy got to work she went through the door and too the counter where the old woman resided reading a very thick book. Without looking up from the book she said, "Read the sign we're not open for another 15 minutes."

"Umm… Miss?"

"Oh I'm so sorry Envy I'm so used to it just being me around the shop." The lady apologized.

"That's fine I can tell you that I probably do the same thing." Envy told her.

"Now you look much nicer than you did yesterday. Did you cut your hair?"

"Oh yes I did. About 3 inches or so and I went clothes shopping so I have some decent clothes now." Envy answered.

"That's nice I hope you're moved in fine. Now please go into the kitchen we already have 3 orders today so if you could please start right away that would be great."

"Ok, and thank you Miss this is really helping me!" With that said Envy went into the kitchen, washed her hands and began mixing up the cake mix. She had three orders, 2 Red Velvet cakes and 1 dozen 'Little Shop Cakes'. After Envy made these she was told to just bake cookies for little children when they come in. She began making the cookies she always loved to bake, Chocolate Chip cookies with a fudge filling.

Envy had always cooked fast and was extremely fast at baking so she didn't have much to do until a group of men came in claiming to be from the military.

"Hey Judith you're out N' about today, I heard you got a new chef. Well cutting to the chase we need a wedding cake for our little buddy Ed here he's getting married in a week."

"Sure thing Havoc I'll have my chef come out and consult with you personally. Envy!"

"Yes Miss?"

"Can you please consult with these fine young men about a wedding cake?"

"Ok I will, Hello Mr. Havoc how are you and I am making a cake for E-"Envy stopped there when she saw everyone starring at her.

"A-a Homunculus!" Havoc yelled

"Do you want your damn cake or not? If you do I suggest you stop telling me what I already know." Envy said irritated.

"I guess you guys have met?" The old lady asked.

"Envy I need to talk to you, about something personal." Ed said

"Fine Edward I will but then we will go back and I will make you a cake for your stupid wedding with Winry." Envy spat at Ed before taking him out of the room where they would have their conversation.

24

When Ed pulled his "Lover" into the closet he began to inspect her. First her hair was up and looked significantly shorter. She was wearing something that covered her stomach and flowed away from the body.

"Wow you've done some changing. I though you would skip town or something." Ed said trying to sound causal.

"You moved it up…" Envy mumbled.

"Moved what up exactly?" Ed questioned

"Your wedding you dumbass! I thought you said you weren't tying the knot until next month."

"Well unlike you, Winry wants kids and she is against premarital sex."

"Where the hell do you get the right to say that I never wanted kids? I loved you-"

"You say you did but you were only playing Dante's little game."

"What are you talking about I carried your child and planned to keep it! If I didn't love you I wouda offed the kid a long time ago, but I didn't! When it was gone I felt like I betrayed you and I wanted to kill myself. But then my stupid common sense kicked in and told me there would be other times. I thought that because I thought you loved me. I wanted to tell you something but it has been pushed back. I have a question for you first."

"What the hell is it Envy?" Ed asked annoyed.

"Did you ever want to have a kid with me?"

Ed was dumbfounded he couldn't believe what Envy had asked. Well at the beginning yes, but when he had thought that way about Winry he forgot all about Envy. Ed found his answer "No I never wanted anything to do with you. You are a gender confused, flat chested, failure that is only good at killing things, especially things that are growing inside you."

Ed had hit a nerve, he could tell. Envy had tensed up and looked like she was about to cry, Ed knew she hated the topic and when he brought it up she felt like killing herself. So why did he do that?

"Good because I hate you! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! I never want to see you again and if you want to feel what I felt, I will personally come to your house when you have kids and kill your newborn child in your arms and then slaughter your slut in front of any other kids before offing them too. Then you will know what it feels like to lose a child!"

Envy stormed out of the room and began crying, that even Ed could hear through the door.

24

When Envy came out of the closet (hehe ^-^) she had looked like a train hit her. Her hair was all frazzled and was pulled out of its neat bun. Her clothes were ruffled and looked like someone had repeatedly grabbed them and bunched them up.

She walked across the room where everyone was now sitting, looking very puzzled, and headed to the bathroom.

About 5 minutes after she entered she exited looking like new.

"Ok so now let's get working on this cake. What shape and type would you like?" Envy asked like she hadn't just had a meltdown in a bakery closet.

"Well I want a simple cake. Chocolate cake covered in white frosting with silver flowers. Oh yeah in the middle make it say 'Edward Elric + Winry Rockbell' inside a heart." Ed cut in before anyone else could say anything. Envy silently took notes with neat handwriting.

"How big do you want the cake?" Envy questioned.

"Not big. Only a few people are coming."

"Like Al, Pinako, Mustang, Hawkeye, Hughes, Gracia, Elysia, and maybe some others… and me." Envy guessed.

"No, not you. I don't want you to ruin the day by calling Winry a slut, and possibly getting drunk and getting on a table and telling everyone that you slept with the groom." Ed shot back glaring at the perfect little homunculus sitting next to him.

"I wouldn't do that Chibi-Chan. I meant so I could deliver the cake. I gave up my past, started anew. No more Dante, Lust, Greed, Wrath, Sloth, Pride. No more master plan to make some stupid stone to become human. Though I haven't given up in my quest to destroy that bastard."

"So you aren't working for Dante?" Ed asked blankly.

"Well I am getting no support from her; she kicked me out of her manor and cut me off from her unlimited supply of money. She still technically owns me but not that I give a shit, It has always been that way so I'm used to it." Envy replied jovially.

Ed just looked at her blankly. Like she had told him that she was really a lesbian.

"So she just dumped you on the street?"

"Yep pretty much!"

"I've got to go I'll see you next week. It's at the church on the hill, next week Sunday at 11:00 A.M." Ed replied blankly before leaving.

"What a dick." Envy grumbled as she left the room and back to the kitchen.

24

_**To Be Continued… **_

_(I Hate) Everything about You -Three Days Grace_

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R&R Constructive Criticism is appreciated, flames fill my sick, masochistic desires (Like the one I have of being hurt while... I'm not going to continue that. Though, Now that I think about it, my ex never did hurt me (physically) He's such a wimp, It wouldn't have worked out anyway).

Huggles and Kisses all around. (or as I say to people who find me creepy) Love you! Love you! Love you! From the bottom of my heart!


	9. The One I Love

Unexpected Events

Chapter 9- The One I Love

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"Is it possible for you to use punctuation because that would make the story much easier to read thanks bye" - This, my readers, is my favorite review on the story so far. One thing I would like to point out is that the reviewer himself did not use punctuation. I would like to inform them that I am not able to read this accurately because of the missing comma and periods, which are needed in the sentence to make it grammatically correct. I would also like to inform you that, even though I may not use many commas, most of my work is grammatically correct in the aspect of punctuation. Though I do applaud this reader, so do not fear for I have found your review to be HILARIOUS! You made me laugh so hard I woke up my mother in the middle of the night. So I thought that I should share the joy with everyone! Sorry to see that your reading experience was not to your liking. But, sincerely, that is not my problem. Life is full of disappointments, get used to it (I have, and let me tell you, it was the best thing that ever happened to me). I would also like to touch on the point that, I myself am a competent reader. Therefore when I see a gaping grammatical error or spelling mistake, I do not fret over it because I know what the writer is trying to convey. I am sorry to cause confusion by writing sentences that lacked commas throughout. I know I am being quite a bitch over this, but as you may already be able to tell, I am a bitch. But do not fret; your review has not fallen on deaf ears, I will decide to look over my punctuation in later chapters instead of just sentence fluency. I also would like to point out that this story was written about 3 ½ years ago (when I was about 13 or so), and I am afraid to do any major editing on the story for fear that my corpulent self-loathing would lead me to scrap the entire thing (which we do not want my darling readers ;D) Sorry again for the rant, but I hope reading that review made you as happy as it did me. :D (Have I ever told you that I love that face the most out of all the faces? Because I do! I love it beyond belief!) :D

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I yet again would like to sincerely apologize for lack of updating, I got caught up in the beauty that is the homestuck trolls and have officially renewed my already flushed feelings for MSPA, Homestuck, and Andrew Hussie. I have also been somewhat busy with school though not much. I missed Youmacon because of IYSO rehearsal (though my friend went as Lil' Cal from homestuck and took pictures and shit, so that was worth it.) ohhh well... enjoy your shitty fan-fic.

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27

Envy had worked hard at her new job. She always made the orders, and never failed to clean or feed the hungry children always at the door. Her morning sickness had gone down a notch as well.

When Envy greeted the children she thought of what her kid would look like, and how it would act towards her. The kid would hate her, she just knew it.

When the day of Ed's wedding came Envy put on her fanciest skirt, top, and her nice shoes. She was decked out to go to a wedding, and not crash it. When she got to the church Envy set up the cake and helped with the décor. When Ed came through the door he froze.

"Ok Ed are you going to gawk at me all day or are you going to get married? It's your choice." Envy joked.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have peoples' lives to ruin or something?" Ed grumbled.

"Aww Edo did you forget? I told you that I have changed!"

"I half expected that not to be true but the way you said it you sounded like you were telling the truth so I was completely confused as to if you have really changed."

"I said that I have changed if you can't accept that then you can go fuck yourself!" Envy yelled having a big mood swing.

"Fine why don't you go say hi to the main woman of the day, Winry?" Ed suggested trying to get Envy away from him.

"I'll go and tell her that I made her cake and I will wish her a great day. And don't worry I won't tell her that I'm the one that fucked her fiancée so your fine… for now." Envy teased. In truth she would never tell Winry that because she liked living and she was too exhausted to fight back because she was eating enough for ½ a person, but was feeding 2.

Envy slipped out of the room and he stomach was feeling horrible, so the first thing she did was make a mental escape route to the nearest bathroom. When she finally made her way to the brides dressing room she knocked to make sure she wasn't completely naked or something. Though then she could see exactly why Ed liked her so much… '_Damn she has pretty big jugs… maybe she stuffs her bra'_… Envy was taken out of her thoughts by a small voice coming from the room, "C-come in!" Called a petite voice from within.

Envy entered the room and looked around. She saw many white puffy things and then in the center of it all was a blob of white with a crying girl, it was Winry.

"Oh no what's wrong Winry?" Envy gasped as she ran to the bride.

"I think that I've done something horrible."

"Tell me, you'll feel better" Envy said… that was true wasn't it?

"Well Ed, the groom, was in a really good relationship apparently with some girl, that's what Al told me. He said that even though they had been together for only two months or so they were really in love. Then they had a little fight and Ed didn't see her for about another month. Then the night that he proposed to me he had found out that she was pregnant and had a miscarriage. Then I walked in on them and Ed got scared and proposed. I thought I loved him but I think I only did it to ruin the other girl's life." Winry explained

Envy right now was about to jump on Winry and beat the crap out of her, but then her stomach took over and she ran to the bathroom. Winry followed her and then followed her into the women's bathroom. Envy collapsed on the floor and puked her guts up. She felt so horrible and she lifted up her shirt so she could rub her hand over her baby to try and calm it.

"You're p-pregnant!" Winry shot out, startling Envy.

"Yeah, so your point is?"

"Well I was wondering if you and your husband were happy because I was thinking about kids with Ed but he was kind of iffy on the subject." Winry admitted bashfully.

"I don't have a husband."

"Boyfriend then?"

"I am in no relationship what so ever." Envy said, obviously annoyed.

"Does the father know?" Winry pressed on.

"Ok honey, I suggest you shut up before I wring your neck out. First things first, the father is getting married and wants nothing to do with me. My family kicked me out of the house and I have had to start a new life so that is why I work at a bakery; so I can try and support myself and this kid without getting kicked out on the streets again." Envy replied with a look that could cut steel.

"Oh that's rude of me we never even introduced myself." Winry exclaimed in an awkward attempt at changing the topic.

"I know who you are your Winry Rockbell, 16. You are getting married to Edward Elric. Your parents were killed in Ishbal. You live with your grandma Pinako." Envy said giving out a little too much information.

"Annndd you are…?"

"Envy, the person who made your wedding cake."

"Well do you stalk everyone you make a cake for Miss E-"Just then Winry probably just realized who Envy really was.

"Winry you have something to say to me, I can tell."

"Envy you are that Homunculus that was with Ed that night… And that baby?"

"I'm leaving, the cake has been paid for if Ed cares for the well being of his family he will leave me the fuck alone." Envy said getting ready to leave but before she left she hit Winry over the head, knocking her out.

27

When Envy got to the bakery she went into the kitchen to see if there were any new orders. Sadly there were none so she went to the front to consult the owner.

"Ne, you got any work for me?" Envy asked looking out the window.

"No I think you forgot that today is Sunday which means we close at 2:00." Replied the woman. "But you need to talk to me about your 'condition'. You know that it is very hard to hide the fact that you are expecting from an expert mother."

"Well I thought that if you knew that you wouldn't hire me and, and-"Envy couldn't continue due to the fact she had broken down into tears. She thought of everything that had happened. The one she loved had taken her down and given her up. she was being played and she knew it but he continued. The one she loved had tried to drown her in her own self-pity.

"It's ok, I know how hard it would be for you to be without a job, Now the man who came in for the wedding cake is really the father right. You were not raped, but fell in love with someone that you weren't supposed to, and he was to be married. When you got pregnant he had already ended it and wouldn't listen to you if you tried to tell him." The woman said very matter-of-factly.

Envy could only nod because she couldn't form words.

"You, my young child, are better than any girls on the street. You had the chance to destroy a relationship for your own satisfaction but you didn't you bit the bullet and accepted the cards you were dealt. You are the real picture of courage, to give up the chance of raising a child with help for a life of loneliness, to give others the chance to be happy." The old woman praised. "You may go home. I think that you are quite exhausted."

After Envy was dismissed she went to the doctor's office because she read in a book once that stated that 'women should get an annual check-up about every 3 months'. When she got to the doctor's office she went to the maternity wing and made an appointment. They took her in immediately because no one had come in at all today. She was placed in a small room where she was instructed to take off her shirt and lay down on the table.

When Envy had done that she waited for no less than 5 seconds before the doctor came in and greeted her.

"Hello Envy my name is Doctor Clara Tift. You may just call me Clara." She said jovially.

"Ok can I just get out of here as fast as I possibly can?" Envy asked.

"Ok but I was just examining you and you look like you are about 8 weeks but you claim that you are almost 4 months! How much are you eating?"

"Well I eat the equivalent of about half a dinner role each meal." Envy replied truthfully.

"WHAT! You might as well just go and kill the baby! You know that you are not only putting yourself and the baby in danger but are also putting other people around you in danger!" Clara yelled

"I will try harder but I don't really have enough money to engorge myself like some fat slob." Envy sneered.

"I also notice that you aren't wearing a normal bra but a training bra. Why is that?"

"It is exactly as it seems. My boobs are so small I could pass as a guy without wearing a shirt. But when I got pregnant they grew so I had to start wearing a bra but I still don't fit into an AA cup."

"Well good for you. That was a great idea."

"Thank you now do you have to do anything else."

"Yes I will check the fetus by feeling around your tummy so don't get startled. I also have a couple more questions to ask." Clara told Envy as she began to inspect her tummy. She then started to ask the questions. "Are you in a relationship or does the father of the child know?"

"No."

"Do you have any guaranteed support by family members?"

"Not really but my boss seems like she would help me."

"Will you, in the future, have enough money to comfortably house, clothe, and feed the child and yourself?"

"Yes, the only reason right now is because I just moved into a new house so money is a little tight."

"You and the baby are completely fine Miss Envy. Though I will have you come back in a month due to your eating habits and to see if they improve."

"I will see you in a month then." Envy said putting her shirt back on and going to the door to leave and finally get home.

27

When envy had finally entered her apartment building she was greeted by an all too familiar face.

"Hello Miss may you give me the pleasure of escorting you upstairs?" Roy asked oblivious to the fact that he was talking to a Homunculus and not a beautiful woman.

"Oh thank you! That would be the nicest thing someone has done for me today!" Envy replied. Despite the fact that Roy Mustang was in every way shape and form a douche, that was indeed the nicest thing anyone had offered. And for some reason Envy's back was aching, probably from the rock-hard mattress she was sleeping on.

Roy had accompanied Envy almost all the way to her room when she became suddenly dizzy and slipped on a stair, luckily Mustang had caught her. Her quickly carried her bridal style to the top of the stairs and placed her carefully on the floor.

"Where is your room?" Roy asked worriedly.

"D12" Envy answered. Her room was the last room in the hall on the top floor so she had quite a long journey to walk on a regular basis. When they got to her room Mustang took her key and opened the door. He barged into her room and placed her on the bed.

"Miss are you all right you seem very light. Have you been eating?" Roy asked pervishly touching her until he got a scared look on his face. "Y-y-your-r p-pregnant?"

"God yes that is like the fifth time today! Yes I am pregnant, knocked up, expecting, with child, bun in the oven, cooking a chicken whatever you say just fucking get over it and move on with your pitiful lives you pieces of shit!" Envy yelled at her savior.

"But then that means you are probably in a relationship…"

"What if I wasn't, because I am not in a relationship. Would you still fuck a pregnant woman you sick bastard."

"Well if you don't want a fuck buddy and you're not in a relationship, may I be your love interest or something like a best friend." Roy asked

"Fine but this 'best friend' of mine better get me some fucking ice cream before he finds his dick under his pillow."

"How would you get that to happen?"

"Because I would fucking chop it off! Now get a move on I'm hungry as shit!"

Roy ran out of the room to fetch Envy some ice cream because even if he didn't know it was Envy he still was pretty sure she wouldn't hesitate to chop his dick off.

27

* * *

_**To Be Continued…**_

_The One I Love_

_-The Rasmus_

_BLUHH BLUHH REVIEW AND SHIT!  
_


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